Applied Religion

She stared out the car, speculating how the glowing sunlight hit the green leaves of the sturdy oak tree in front of her.

She was trying. Trying to concentrate on anything else than her mother's voice.

"You need to repent and ask for forgiveness," her mother said. 

"I don't believe what you believe-" 

"It doesn't matter if you or I believe. It is His words. His commandments. And when you go against the laws He has given us, you're going against God." 

"As if I'm the only one who has broken His commandments. Didn't you have sex before marriage? And my father and Mike and like every adult I know." 

"Yes but I married both of them and-"

"And that turned out great for you and my dad," she rolled her eyes. 

"Maybe it wasn't the best decision, but there was commitment. There isn't any true commitment in casual sex. It's just pleasure based." 

Her brown almond shaped eyes quickly darkened and narrowed as she looked at her mother's face. 

"And you think I'm just having casual sex? He's my boyfriend. If I wanted to just have casual sex, he wouldn't be my boyfriend. We wouldn't be in a committed relationship."

"Yes but-"

"But we're not married. You're right. As we shouldn't be. But it doesn't take away the commitment part. Sex is one of the most intimate things you can have with another human being."

"You don't think I know that?"

"I know you do, so why don't you understand that not every time it's all about pleasure." 

"You haven't known him long enough."

"You married Mike after a year of knowing each other. Your relationship isn't exactly ideal," she said.

"Only cause we've made mistakes, but it doesn't mean it's okay for you to. And only because you've already have had sex, it doesn't mean that you're just free to sin all you want."

"Except I am. That's my choice. And why should any of us be ashamed of doing what we were built to do. What God built us to do?"

Her mother fell into silence. A minute passed until she spoke again. 

"It is Satan's job to deceive us and turn our backs away from God. Sometimes he makes us think lust is love." 

"I know the difference between the two." 

"Maybe. I just want you to be careful and eventually ask for forgiveness."

She slightly opened her mouth, ready to argue her mother but the lump in her throat cut her off. She clenched her jaw and tried to restrain her eyes from watering. She wasn't hurt by her mother's words, but rather frustrated by them. Frustrated that she had to abide by her mother's beliefs due to financial circumstances. 

She yearned for the day she could brush off her mother's beliefs and values, where it'd only be a conversation between two adults rather than something she had to live by. 

But perhaps that day will never come.